Leading with Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Guide for Business Leaders

I recently had a colleague tell me that my superpower was creating relationships. It got me thinking about other team members and what their superpowers might be. Since this colleague had brought it up, I asked her what her superpower was, and she said, “Emotional Intelligence”.

Of course, I had heard of Emotional Intelligence, but wanted to clarify my understanding of my friend’s superpower, so I set off to Google “Emotional Intelligence”.

So what is Emotional Intelligence anyway?

Emotional intelligence (EI) is (apparently) the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as those of the people around you. Yep, that fit my frame of reference for my friend and colleague. You rarely saw her lose her temper, and you rarely saw her get overly excited about anything. You never really knew if she was upset or full of joy — she was a super even keeled person. You knew exactly what you would get with her ALL. THE. TIME!

I dug a little deeper – honestly because I wondered how I would stack up in the EI game —and found that there are five areas where EI is measured: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills.

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Leading with EI isn't just about being nice—it's about being effective. Emotional intelligence allows you to connect deeply with your team, creating a culture of trust and collaboration. Studies, like those highlighted by Harvard Business Review, show that emotionally intelligent leaders are more successful in driving performance.

Daniel Goleman, a pioneer in EI, stresses that it's a critical differentiator in leadership. His research, found here, demonstrates that leaders with high EI build more resilient and adaptable teams.

Here are some examples of emotional intelligence in action:

1. Self-awareness:

• Recognizing your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior.

• Understanding your strengths and weaknesses and having self-confidence.

2. Self-regulation:

• Managing your emotions in healthy ways, such as being able to wait for what you want or adapting to change.

• Expressing your emotions appropriately and not acting impulsively.

3. Motivation:

• Being driven to achieve for the sake of achievement, not just external rewards.

• Staying optimistic and persistent even in the face of challenges or setbacks.

4. Empathy:

• Understanding the emotions of others and seeing things from their perspective.

• Being able to sense the feelings of others, even when they are not expressed verbally.

5. Social skills:

• Managing relationships to move people in desired directions.

• Effectively communicating, resolving conflicts, and building strong personal and professional relationships.

Examples in Specific Situations:

• At work:

  • A manager notices that an employee is stressed and offers support or adjusts their workload.

  • A team member listens to a colleague's concerns without interrupting and helps find a solution.

• In relationships:

  • Partners discuss their feelings openly and work through conflicts with understanding and compromise.

  • A friend recognizes when someone is feeling down and offers comfort or distraction.

• In leadership:

  • A leader motivates their team by recognizing their achievements and providing constructive feedback.

  • During a crisis, a leader remains calm, provides clear direction, and reassures their team.

Practical Examples:

• Self-awareness:

  • Realizing you are becoming frustrated in a meeting and choosing to take deep breaths to calm down.

  • Knowing that you tend to avoid confrontation and deciding to address an issue directly but kindly.

• Self-regulation:

  • Feeling angry about a mistake but choosing to address it calmly rather than yelling.

  • Taking a moment to cool off before responding to a critical email.

• Motivation:

  • Noticing that a team member is struggling to finish a challenging project, you offer a word of encouragement to remind them of their past success and boost their confidence and enthusiasm.

  • Setting specific, achievable goals for yourself daily after noticing that you have been consistently falling behind on your own tasks.

• Empathy:

  • Sensing that a coworker is overwhelmed and offering to help with their tasks.

  • Understanding why a friend might be upset even if they haven't said anything.

• Social skills:

  • Effectively mediating a dispute between two team members.

  • Networking successfully at an event by engaging in meaningful conversations and following up afterward.

Developing emotional intelligence can lead to better relationships, improved communication, and greater personal and professional success.  We all want that, don’t we? But HOW?

Here is a quick quiz that will let you know where you fall on the EI continuum and some actionable steps to boost your EI.

Emotional Intelligience Free Quiz

Actionable Steps to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence

1.  Tune Into Yourself: Start by getting a handle on your own emotions. How do your feelings shape your actions? This self-awareness helps you keep your cool and lead by example.

2.  Flex Your Empathy Muscle: Make it a habit to understand where your team is coming from. Listen without jumping to solutions. This builds trust and deepens connections.

3.  Communicate Like a Pro: Keep the lines open. Encourage your team to share their thoughts and feelings. Be approachable and foster an environment where everyone feels heard. Click here for some ideas on open communication with your team.

4.  Stress Less, Achieve More: High stress clouds judgment. Find ways to manage stress—maybe it’s through mindfulness, exercise, or a good hobby. A balanced leader is a more effective leader.

5.  Feedback That Fuels Growth: When giving feedback, focus on the behavior, not the person. Be specific, offer solutions, and highlight positives. This approach nurtures a culture of growth and improvement.

Shine Lesson Learned

Emotional intelligence is your secret weapon for standout leadership. By practicing self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication, you’ll build a strong, motivated, and engaged team. Remember, leadership isn't just about directing—it's about connecting.

So, take a moment today to reflect, as I did, on your emotional intelligence and commit to making it stronger. The benefits will ripple through your leadership style and your business.

 Need More Guidance?

If you're looking for more personalized help with feedback, communication, or self-awareness, I can help. Sign up for a clarity call with me here. Let's work together to elevate your leadership skills and drive your business to new heights.

Shine On, Shannon